For most of his life, Arlen has been the unquestioned patriarch of his family and the driving force behind its considerable success — a man who built a thriving manufacturing business from scratch, expanded into real estate, and established a family foundation that still bears his name.
At board meetings, at family gatherings, even at the holiday table, Arlen’s voice has always carried the final weight. Decisions, direction, vision — all came from him. And for decades, that worked.
His son, Terrance, now 58, has supported his father loyally — though often from a distance, and always in his father’s shadow. He built his own career, raised his own family, but was never seen as “the leader” in family matters. That was Arlen’s role.
But now, something is shifting.
At a recent family meeting, Arlen’s once razor-sharp memory faltered when discussing a key trust matter. His hand trembled slightly as he passed the agenda to Terrance. Later, in private, he confided to his son, “I’m not as quick as I used to be. Maybe it’s time you started taking more of the reins.”
It was a moment both had seen coming — but neither had fully prepared for.
And so begins one of the most delicate transitions any family of wealth must navigate: the gradual, intentional handoff of leadership and control from one generation to the next.
When done thoughtfully, this process can preserve family unity, protect the founder’s legacy, and equip the next generation for responsible stewardship. When mishandled, it can lead to conflict, loss of wealth, and fractures that last for years.
How can families — and their advisors — approach this transition with both strategy and honor?
Let’s explore what it takes to plan a graceful generational wealth handoff.
Why Timing Matters
In my experience, too many families wait too long to begin these conversations. Understandably so—talking about aging and relinquishing control is hard, especially for founders whose identities are closely tied to the enterprises or investments they built.
But transitions rushed by crisis—illness, cognitive decline, death—rarely go smoothly. They tend to provoke panic, resentment, and reactive decision-making.
By contrast, a thoughtful transition begins years in advance, staged in phases that give both generations time to adapt to new roles. A good rule of thumb: serious planning should start in the wealth creator’s mid- to late-60s, with the goal of having a clear transition roadmap in place before age or health begins forcing decisions.
Who Should Be Involved?
These are not solo conversations between an advisor and the patriarch or matriarch. Nor should they be solely legal or financial exercises. Effective planning brings multiple voices to the table:
The wealth creators themselves, who still hold decision-making authority but need trusted guidance.
Next-generation family members—usually adult children, but sometimes grandchildren—who will eventually steward the assets and legacy.
Key advisors: estate attorneys, wealth managers, trustees, tax professionals. Often a trusted family business consultant or family dynamics coach can also play an invaluable role.
In many families, initial conversations begin one-on-one between the advisor and the wealth creator, to gauge readiness. From there, a series of structured family meetings can gradually widen the circle of participation.
What Are the Key Issues to Address?
Every family is different, but common transition issues include:
Control of business interests—who will own and operate family businesses or partnerships going forward?
Trustee and fiduciary succession—who will take over key trust or entity leadership roles? Are successor fiduciaries trained and prepared?
Decision-making structures—does the family have governance structures (family council, investment committee, family constitution) to support collective decision-making as leadership diffuses?
Financial education of heirs—are next-gen family members financially literate and prepared for the responsibilities they’ll inherit?
Communication protocols—how will the family communicate across generations to avoid misunderstandings, power struggles, or disengagement?
Preserving family values and legacy—how will the aging generation’s vision and values be carried forward without becoming an undue constraint on future generations?
How to Maintain Honor for the Aging Generation
This is where even the most technically brilliant plans can falter—when the emotional undercurrents of aging and shifting identity aren’t acknowledged.
Many founders fear that handing over control will diminish their worth in the eyes of the family. Others worry about losing their voice or legacy.
Advisors can help here in several ways:
Frame the transition as leadership, not loss. Present it as an intentional act of stewardship—one final and vital chapter of leadership in which the wealth creator models how to empower the next generation.
Preserve a role for wisdom and counsel. Even as day-to-day control shifts, the aging generation can be honored as senior advisors, mentors, and storytellers. A formal “Founder Emeritus” or family elder role can be helpful.
Facilitate acknowledgment and gratitude. Encourage family members to name and celebrate what the wealth creators built, not only in assets, but in family culture, values, and opportunity. A simple ritual of appreciation can be incredibly meaningful.
Support the emotional side of letting go. This is often the hardest part, especially for self-made founders. Advisors who can hold space for these emotions—and perhaps connect clients with coaching or counseling when needed—add immense value.
Helping Clients Relinquish Control Gracefully
For some clients, the hardest part of the transition is knowing how to begin letting go. Here are a few practical ways advisors can support them:
Start with small steps. Begin by shifting lower-risk or lower-visibility roles—perhaps rotating next-gen members onto investment committees or governance boards.
Create phased timelines. Lay out a 3- to 5-year plan for gradually shifting control of trusts, businesses, and family office functions.
Build readiness in the next generation. Help structure education, mentoring, and experience-building for heirs so the founder has confidence they are prepared.
Model open communication. Encourage regular, transparent family meetings where both generations can voice questions, hopes, and concerns.
Reinforce the founder’s ongoing importance. Keep emphasizing that stepping back from control does not mean stepping out of relevance or value to the family.
Real-World Lessons: What Successful (and Not-So-Successfu) Transitions Teach Us
Some families have modeled this art of transition beautifully. Others serve as cautionary tales.
Consider Jerry Jones, longtime owner of the Dallas Cowboys. Though still very much the public face of the franchise, Jones has spent years grooming his children—particularly Stephen Jones, who now serves as EVP and Director of Player Personnel, and daughter Charlotte, who oversees business operations. When the day comes that Jerry fully steps back, the team will have an experienced next-gen leadership team already in place.
Contrast that with Al Davis of the Oakland Raiders. Davis maintained total control until his death in 2011. His son Mark Davis inherited the team abruptly, without years of grooming or a phased leadership transition. The result was a more turbulent adjustment period, both on and off the field.
Family-controlled empires outside of sports offer similar lessons. The Murdoch family, for example, spent decades structuring succession at News Corp and Fox Corporation, with Lachlan Murdoch ultimately prepared to take the reins after a formal leadership handoff in 2023. Though not without internal family tension, the transition was staged, public, and deliberate—avoiding the chaos that sudden shifts can bring.
Meanwhile, the Mars family (owners of Mars Inc., makers of M&M’s and other iconic brands) is often held up as a gold standard for quiet, well-structured generational transition. With strong values-based culture and an emphasis on privacy and professionalism, they have long prepared family members and non-family executives for seamless leadership.
On the more complex side, the Pritzker family (founders of the Hyatt Hotels empire and other ventures) navigated a successful but highly intricate division of wealth across multiple branches of an extended family, using trusts, governance structures, and negotiated settlements. Even amid complexity, proactive planning made all the difference.
Final Thoughts
Ultimately, wealth transition isn’t just about money—it’s about family continuity, relationships, and honoring the lives that made the wealth possible.
When approached with intention, respect, and humility, generational wealth planning can become one of the most meaningful chapters in a family’s story—not a diminishment, but an expansion of legacy.
And for advisors willing to lean into both the strategic and human dimensions of the process, there is no greater service we can offer our aging clients—or their families.
Bridging the Divide: Generational Perspectives on Money
A new book by David W. Russell, CFP®, CSA®, CTFA
Bridging the Divide isn’t just about financial planning – it’s about understanding people. This book offers a fresh perspective on the generational differences that often create conflict and misunderstanding within families. By exploring the historical context and cultural influences that have shaped each generation’s attitudes toward money, you’ll gain a deeper appreciation for their values, priorities, and concerns.
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