Category: Aging Parents (Page 8 of 9)

Prior Correspondence: A Key Tool in Preparing Your Estate Dispute Case for Trial | Estate Conflicts

September 25, 2019 / drussellcfp

Attorney Brett Hebert, with the national law firm, Gordon Rees, recently wrote an article on the firm’s blog regarding the admissibility of certain correspondence in estate litigation cases.

A typical situation we see involves an elderly person who begins to show signs of losing mental capacity. Then an unscrupulous person “enters” the life of the elderly person, begins to take “care” of the elderly person, and begins to “help” the elderly person with their finances and medical care. Then the elderly person’s estate plan (trust, will, power of attorney) “changes” dramatically to the benefit of the unscrupulous person (and to the detriment of former beneficiaries). As a result, the former beneficiaries of the elderly person begin to ask the unscrupulous person about the changes. The unscrupulous person may send correspondence in return. The elderly person may correspond with the former beneficiaries, too.
These communications typically come in the form of emails, texts, and letters. Sometimes, people post on social media about the disputes. There may even be voicemails or handwritten notes. All of these items are potentially relevant to the dispute and subsequent litigation.

If you suspect that a loved one may have been influenced by someone with ulterior motives, retention of any correspondence with that person or with the possible victim could be beneficial to your case.

Source: Prior Correspondence: A Key Tool in Preparing Your Estate Dispute Case for Trial | Estate Conflicts

What is your honor code?

September 18, 2019 / drussellcfp

Sometimes hearing a familiar principle from a different cultural context makes it seem more interesting, less banal; the same way that eating pizza prepared by a street vendor in Rome would taste better than my local delivery pizza simply because it was made in Rome. Most westerners are familiar with the fifth commandment in the Bible:

Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
Deuteronomy 5:16

However, other cultures and traditions also incorporate the concept of honoring elders into their belief systems as well.

Take also the concept of Filial Piety – one of the eight virtues of Confucianism. Scholars attribute the Eight Virtues to a line in the Sage Emperor Guan’s Book of Enlightenment:

“It is through Filial Piety, Sibling Harmony, Dedication, Trustworthiness, Propriety, Sacrifice, Honour, and Sense of Shame that we become fully human.”

Filial Piety means to be good to one’s parents; to take care of one’s parents; to engage in good conduct not just towards parents but also outside the home so as to bring a good name to one’s parents and ancestors. The Fung Loy Kok Institute of Taoism expounds on this general definition:

What is filial piety? There are many aspects of filial piety. The most important of them is to honor your father and mother and attend to their needs.
By “honor” it is meant that you should maintain good conduct and never do things which will shame your parents or make them unhappy.
You should be hard working in family affairs.
You should be frugal in spending and not waste family resources.
Siblings should live in harmony.
In your interactions with other people you should be honest and sincere. Do not be deceitful. In all your actions be humble, be courteous and considerate of others, be proprietous and refrain from shameful thoughts and actions.
You should also attend to your parents’ well-being. There are three basic needs you must provide for your parents. First, you should provide for their food and clothing. Second, when they are ill, you must take responsibility for nursing them back to health. Third, when they die, you must provide them with proper burial and care for their graves.
As a son or daughter, whether you are rich or poor, whatever profession you are engaged in, whether you are married or not, whether you have children or not, if you can perform these three deeds with sincerity and dedication, your parents will be happy while they are alive and rest in peace when they are deceased. Your parents cared for you without selfish interests. Your mother carried you in her womb for ten lunar months and nursed you for three years. Your parents constantly tended to your needs while you were growing up. You should show your gratitude to them by fulfilling the virtue of filial piety. Filial piety has many aspects. As long as each is performed with all your heart, this virtue is fulfilled. Whatever you do for your parents, do it with goodwill and sincerity.

I think we can all agree that the world could use a little more Filial Piety.

Estate Planning Pitfalls for Older Couples Living Together.

September 16, 2019 / drussellcfp

An increasing number of Americans ages 50 and older are in cohabiting relationships, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of the Current Population Survey. In fact, cohabiters ages 50 and older represented about a quarter (23%) of all cohabiting adults in 2016. One reason could be the adult children’s rejection to their older parent’s marriage, especially if the relationship formed soon after the death of the other parent. Approximately 23% of cohabiters over age 65 are widowed.

However, as with many things in life, what seems simple — living together — is often quite complex. Unmarried couples, of all sexual orientations, can face a variety of problematic and emotionally difficult issues because estate planning laws are written to favor married couples.

Unmarried partners need to consider the following issues related to estate planning and living together:

Medical incapacity: In the absence of a durable power of attorney for healthcare, non-married individuals may be treated as “legal strangers” and unable to make healthcare decisions on behalf of their partner.
Living arrangements: If the wealthier partner dies or becomes incapacitated with no provision for the other partner to remain in the home (by a will or title) the other partner can be forced from the home by blood kin.
Dying without a will: Intestacy laws (state laws that determine where a deceased’s property goes when there is no will) are not favorable to unmarried partners.
Employer Retirement Plans: Plans like 401k’s, profit sharing, and pension plans, as well as group life insurance plans are governed by a federal law known as ERISA. This law requires that a spouse be the beneficiary of these plans in the event of the employee’s death unless waived by the spouse. No such protection is afforded unmarried partners unless the partner is listed on the Plan’s beneficiary form.

For more, see Brad Wiewel, The Legal Dangers of Living Together, Next Avenue, August 28, 2019.

Why Aren’t More Women Working? They’re Caring for Parents

September 5, 2019 / drussellcfp

A recent New York Times article profiles the lives of women who have no other option than to drop out of the work-force to care for an aging parent, at significant cost to the economy.

The burden of care for aging relatives is reshaping the lives of millions of others. About 15 percent of women and 13 percent of men 25 to 54 years old spend time caring for an older relative, according to the Labor Department. Among those 55 to 64, the share rises to one in five Americans. And 20 percent of these caregivers also have children at home.

Nursing Home Staffing Reports for all 50 States

August 29, 2019 / drussellcfp

The Long Term Care Community Coalition (LTCCC) is a nonprofit organization dedicated to improving quality of care, quality of life and dignity for elderly and disabled people in nursing homes, assisted living and other residential settings.

LTCCC focuses on systemic advocacy, researching national and state policies, laws and regulations in order to identify relevant issues and develop meaningful recommendations to improve quality, efficiency and accountability. In addition to providing a foundation for advocacy, LTCCC uses this research and the resulting recommendations to educate policymakers, consumers and the general public. Consumer, family and LTC Ombudsman empowerment are fundamental to our mission.

LTCCC’s work is grounded in its organization as a New York State based coalition of consumer, community, civic and professional organizations, bringing together these different stakeholders to identify & address the systemic issues that affect quality of care and dignity in long-term care.

Click on the links below to download easy-to-use files for each state. Each file includes information on: Each facility’s direct care RN, LPN, and CNA staffing levels; Staffing levels for important non-nursing staff, including administrators and activities staff; and The extent to which the facility relies on contract workers to provide resident care.To facilitate

Source: Nursing Home Staffing 2019 Q1 – Nursing Home 411

Caregiver Burnout

August 28, 2019 / drussellcfp

What is caregiver burnout?

Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion. It may be accompanied by a change in attitude, from positive and caring to negative and unconcerned. Burnout can occur when caregivers don’t get the help they need, or if they try to do more than they are able, physically or financially. Many caregivers also feel guilty if they spend time on themselves rather than on their ill or elderly loved ones. Caregivers who are “burned out” may experience fatigue, stress, anxiety and depression.

What causes caregiver burnout?

Caregivers often are so busy caring for others that they tend to neglect their own emotional, physical and spiritual health. The demands on a caregiver’s body, mind and emotions can easily seem overwhelming, leading to fatigue, hopelessness and ultimately burnout. Other factors that can lead to caregiver burnout include:

Role confusion: Many people are confused when thrust into the role of caregiver. It can be difficult for a person to separate her role as caregiver from her role as spouse, lover, child, friend or another close relationship.
Unrealistic expectations: Many caregivers expect their involvement to have a positive effect on the health and happiness of the patient. This may be unrealistic for patients suffering from a progressive disease, such as Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s.
Lack of control: Many caregivers become frustrated by a lack of money, resources and skills to effectively plan, manage and organize their loved one’s care.
Unreasonable demands: Some caregivers place unreasonable burdens upon themselves, in part because they see providing care as their exclusive responsibility. Some family members such as siblings, adult children or the patient himself/herself may place unreasonable demands on the caregiver. They also may disregard their own responsibilities and place burdens on the person identified as primary caregiver.
Other factors: Many caregivers cannot recognize when they are suffering burnout and eventually get to the point where they cannot function effectively. They may even become sick themselves.

What are the symptoms of caregiver burnout?

The symptoms of caregiver burnout are similar to the symptoms of stress and depression. They include:

Withdrawal from friends, family and other loved ones
Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed
Feeling blue, irritable, hopeless and helpless
Changes in appetite, weight or both
Changes in sleep patterns
Getting sick more often
Feelings of wanting to hurt yourself or the person for whom you are caring
Emotional and physical exhaustion
Irritability

Source: Caregiver Burnout | Cleveland Clinic

Undocumented Caregiving results in Medicaid Penalty Period

August 26, 2019 / drussellcfp

In a case that stresses the importance of keeping accurate records, especially for paid family caregivers, a New Jersey appeals court upheld a penalty period imposed by Medicaid against a Medicaid applicant for payments the applicant’s daughter received for providing caregiving service. E.B. v. Division of Medical Assistance and Health Services (N.J. Super. Ct., App. Div., No. A-3087-15T4, July 13, 2018).

The daughter [J.W.] testified that, in 2003, her then eighty-year old mother moved into her home. There was an area of J.W.’s home which, although physically attached to the house, was a separate unit where her mother lived. Her mother moved into the apartment because she was afraid of living by herself and was unable to shop or cook for herself.

In 2009, J.W. resigned from her job in order to care for her mother full time. In addition to providing supervision, J.W. assisted her mother with the activities of daily living. In 2011, J.W. was finding it too difficult to make ends meet because she was not earning income. She determined she either had to return to work and let a third party care for her mother during the day, or pay herself from her mother’s savings to compensate her for providing companion services. She chose the latter solution.

After some adjustments, Medicaid determined that $69,211.90 paid from the mother’s funds in order to pay for companion services was not for fair value, and imposed a penalty period. [Normally, the length of the penalty period is determined by the disallowed transfer – $69,211.90 – divided by the average monthly cost of nursing case in the area in which the applicant lives. For example, if the average cost of care in her area was $6,000 per month, then the penalty period would last for roughly one year.]

In making its determination, Medicaid found that the “proof of services rendered on a daily basis to the petitioner deficient”. There were no log sheets or like records tracking the hours she worked and the duties she performed. Second, it found the hourly rate paid to J.W. was not substantiated as appropriate for companion services. Third, J.W. began receiving wages when it was “foreseeable that advanced age and deteriorating condition would require intensive care and the possibility of entering a nursing care facility.” Finally, he observed there was no pre-existing written agreement between the mother and J.W. to pay for the subject services.

In denying her appeal, the Superior Court of Appeals in New Jersey stated:

We understand J.W.’s reasoning, specifically, that if she had to return to work, petitioner may as well pay her rather than a third party to provide companion services, especially because J.W. is a family member and would have her best interests in mind. Nevertheless, “a transfer of assets to a friend or relative for the alleged purpose of compensating for care or services provided free in the past shall be presumed to have been transferred for no compensation.” N.J.A.C. 10:71- 4.10(b)(6)ii.

Family caregivers should take note and adopt written care agreements, and keep time and task logs to guard against similar penalty impositions. Above all, seek the advice of a qualified Medicaid attorney in the state the applicant lives in to help navigate the complex process of applying for Medicaid.

For the full text of this decision, go to: https://www.judiciary.state.nj.us/attorneys/assets/opinions/appellate/unpublished/a3087-15.pdf?cacheID=TSSOcTe

Are you liable for your parent’s nursing home bills?

August 20, 2019 / drussellcfp

Unbeknownst to most Americans, more than half of U.S. states (29 plus Puerto Rico) have “filial responsibility” laws in effect that could potentially obligate adult children to support their impoverished parents. That includes paying the tab for basic necessities like food, housing, clothing, and medical attention, according to Little.

Source: Are you liable for your parent’s nursing home bills? | MassMutual

Turns out however that even states with such laws rarely enforce them, mainly because they weren’t needed after Medicaid became available, but also because federal laws enacted in 2016 prohibit nursing homes from requiring payment from third parties. In most states, for a child to be held accountable for a parent’s bill, all of these things would have to be true:

The parent received care in a state that has a filial responsibility law.
The parent did not qualify for Medicaid when receiving care.
The parent does not have the money to pay the bill.
The child has the money to pay the bill.
The caregiver chooses to sue the child.

Nevertheless, as the cost of long term care stresses the funding limits of Medicaid, and with Medicaid planning used as an asset preservation strategy of those with significant assets, don’t be surprised if public opinion influences legislation that shifts more of the cost burden on the family and away from the government.

One Family’s Journey Through Guardianship Hell

August 5, 2019 / drussellcfp

In one of the saddest yet too-common stories about what happens when families fail to plan, this post from investigative journalist, Gary Weiss, for NextAvenue.org outlines five mistakes that one family made on their journey through guardianship hell.

“You sit there and shake your head how things can go that bad that fast,” says Frederick Paugh, a field investigator with the New Jersey Long Term Care Ombudsman who examined some of the financial aspects of the case at the request of Ada’s assisted living facility. “ But you know what? It happens.”

What ended as a descent into legal hell began in Italy as a love story. Read the rest of the story here.

Source: One Family’s Journey Through Guardianship Hell

What are the “Four-P’s” of Financial Caregiving?

August 1, 2019 / drussellcfp

If you are one of the millions of those who identify themselves as part of the “Sandwich Generation” then you may be largely responsible for the financial decisions and well-being of an aging parent or loved one. Most will be thrust into the role largely unprepared and learn through on-the-job training. The problem with this approach is that the job is not an internship where an entire team of superiors form a safety net around your inevitable mistakes. Furthermore, the financial decision-making responsibilities are often added to the even greater stress of providing emotional or physical caregiving. Caregiver Burnout is a serious modern condition suffered by millions who are providing a sometimes overwhelming level of care.

boomberatcomputer

Like every aspect of caregiving, the motivation behind financial caregiving has to be one of love, honor, and respect for the one for whom we are providing care. To do the job effectively means that we need to educate ourselves. That’s what motivated me to write the book, What You Need to Know, back in 2012. I thought I knew all there was to know about financial caregiving until I became one. I was a professional financial planner after all. I had worked with clients for over thirty years helping them prepare for financial independence.

But in spite of all this preparation, and even with a healthy investment portfolio, it soon became clear that my parents were going to need someone to get intimately involved with their finances. Someone was going to have to organize and take over the tax reporting, bill paying, income tracking, insurance renewals, Medicare supplement choices, Prescription Drug Plans, Social Security check deposits, phone service, internet service, online parts ordering, sale of the unnecessary second vehicle, getting new Wills done, making sure Powers of Attorney were in place, helping with physician choices, etc., etc., etc.

As order evolved from chaos, I began to organize what I needed to know around four major areas – what I later called “The Four P’s” that include the following:

People
Property
Programs
Plans

In subsequent posts, I’ll delve deeper into each of these areas to suggest what you need to know about each of these in order to be an effective and honoring financial caregiver.