Wealth and Honor

Helping Families Navigate the Financial Challenges of Age Transitions

Tag: fiduciary (Page 1 of 2)

Little Red Riding Hood: A Cautionary Tale from a California Case. 

April 17, 2025 / / 0 Comments
[De Anda v. Guillen; California Court of Appeals, Second District, First Division, Decided Apr 21, 2023]

Imagine trusting a loved one, only to discover they’ve betrayed that trust by exploiting your finances. This is the heartbreaking reality one grandmother, Julianne De Anda [Substitute Name] faced when her granddaughter, “Lisa Guillon [Substitute Name], misappropriated a $375,000 construction loan meant for De Anda‘s home remodel, using it for personal expenses and a failing business. The De Anda v. Guillon case serves as a stark reminder of the vulnerabilities our aging loved ones face. By understanding the details of this case, we can better equip ourselves to identify potential issues and prevent similar situations from affecting our own families.  

Key Findings and Preventative Measures

his case offers several key insights that can help families protect their aging loved ones from financial exploitation: 

  1. The Importance of Open Communication: In the De Anda case, the initial agreement seemed reasonable: housing and care in exchange for home improvements. However, the lack of clear, documented agreements and open communication paved the way for misunderstandings and abuse. The court noted that it was unclear to what extent the parties agreed that Guillon would be allowed to live in the home indefinitely, or that she would inherit the home entirely when De Anda died.


    Preventative Measure:     Encourage open and honest conversations about finances, living arrangements, and care plans. Regular family meetings can provide a platform for discussing concerns and making informed decisions together. Document all agreements in writing, with the assistance of legal counsel. 

  2. Be Wary of Joint Tenancy: Guillon persuaded De Anda that a joint tenancy was necessary for the loan. This highlights the danger of elders signing legal documents without fully understanding the implications. The court found that Guillon “persuaded” De Anda that she would not be able to obtain a loan to finance the Pasadena home remodel unless De Anda “deeded half the house to [Guillon] as joint tenants in common with the right of survivorship.”

    Preventative Measure:     Before signing any legal or financial document, especially those involving property, ensure your loved one seeks independent legal and financial advice. A neutral professional can explain the terms and potential risks. Emphasize that joint tenancy can have significant consequences, including loss of control over the property.
     
  3. Monitor Finances: One of the most alarming aspects of this case was the misappropriation of funds. Guillon commingled the construction loan with her personal and business accounts, making it difficult to track. The court found that “Without any accounting, [Guillon] commingled construction money, Taco Factory money, her personal funds, [and] personal and business loans.”

    Preventative Measure:     If you are helping manage an elder’s finances, maintain meticulous records. Use separate accounts for specific purposes (e.g., a dedicated account for the remodel). Regularly review bank statements and credit card bills for any unusual activity. Set up alerts for large withdrawals or transfers.
  4. Trust Your Instincts: De Anda’s children discovered the fraud when they noticed irregularities in her bank accounts and a forged document. This underscores the importance of paying attention to red flags. The court noted that De Anda’s ATM card was missing, as was over $200,000.

    Preventative Measure:     If something feels off, investigate. Don’t dismiss your concerns, even if the person involved is a family member. Trust your instincts and seek professional help if needed. Encourage other family members to stay involved and voice their concerns.
  5. The Danger of Undue Influence: The court found that Guillon exerted undue influence over De Anda, leading her to make decisions that were not in her best interest. The court noted Guillon’s foreclosure, multiple debts, a prior judgment against her, and virtually no cash or assets other than the joint tenancy she had persuaded De Anda to grant her.

    Preventative Measure:     Be aware of situations where an elder is isolated or overly reliant on one individual. Encourage them to maintain social connections and seek advice from multiple sources. Watch for signs of manipulation or coercion.
  6. Professional Oversight: The construction project in the De Anda case lacked proper oversight, which allowed Guillon to mismanage funds and leave the remodel incomplete. The court found that “two-thirds of the [remodel] loan money had been spent before building permits had been pulled.”

    Preventative Measure:     When undertaking significant projects like home renovations, involve reputable contractors and professionals. Obtain multiple bids, check references, and ensure contracts are clear and detailed. Consider hiring a project manager to oversee the work and finances. 

Recognizing Financial Elder Abuse: Financial elder abuse often involves subtle manipulation and deception. It’s crucial to recognize the signs, which can include: 

  1. Sudden changes in financial habits 
  2. Unexplained withdrawals or transfers 
  3. Newfound isolation from family and friends 
  4. Unusual interest in the elder’s assets by a caregiver 
  5. Reluctance to discuss financial matters 

The De Anda v. Guillon case serves as a stark reminder of the vulnerabilities our aging loved ones face. Not only did this separate a grandmother from her granddaughter, but the entire family was fractured by this event.

By learning from this unfortunate situation, we can take proactive steps to protect our elders from financial exploitation. Open communication, careful monitoring, and a healthy dose of skepticism can go a long way in safeguarding their personal and financial well-being.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Consult with a qualified legal professional for advice tailored to your specific situation. 

Sibling Rivalry and Trust Troubles: Removing a Trustee for Being a Pain

April 10, 2025 / / 0 Comments

Family trusts are often established with the best intentions: to secure a family’s legacy, ensure a smooth transfer of wealth, and provide for future generations. However, what happens when the individuals entrusted to manage these assets—often family members themselves—find themselves embroiled in conflict? A 2020 Texas case, Ramirez v. Rodriguez, [No. 04-19-00618-CV; Fourth Court of Appeals; San Antonio, Texas; Decided Feb 19, 2020] offers a compelling example of how family dynamics can undermine even the most well-intentioned estate plans. 

The Ramirez Family: A Texas Story ​

The Ramirez family’s story is possibly a classic Texas tale. While the court transcripts do not provide detailed information about the family’s history or the reasons behind the creation of the trust, we can speculate that over generations, they accumulated significant land holdings, primarily used for ranching. The discovery of oil and gas on their property transformed their fortunes. As wise stewards of their newfound wealth, the Ramirez family may have recognized the importance of preserving their assets for future generations. Rather than dividing the mineral royalties into smaller, fractured interests among numerous heirs, they made the prudent decision to create a trust. This trust was designed to consolidate the management of the royalty interests, ensuring a stable and consistent income stream for the family for years to come. 

The Setup: A Family Affair

In 1977, the Ramirez family established the Ramirez Mineral Trust to manage their oil, gas, and mineral interests. The trust agreement appointed four co-trustees, all family members, and stipulated that any action required the agreement of three out of the four. By 2008, the co-trustees were Santiago, Sonia, Victor, and Javier. This arrangement, intended to provide balanced oversight, eventually became a source of significant conflict. 

The Plot Thickens: Accusations and Lawsuits

The situation began to deteriorate when Santiago and Ancient Sunlight, Ltd. (a company linked to the trust) filed a lawsuit against Sonia in 2019, alleging breach of fiduciary duty and breach of trust. The other co-trustees—Sonia, Victor, and Javier—responded with a petition to remove Santiago as co-trustee, citing “other cause for removal” under the Texas Trust Code. 

The accusations against Santiago were numerous and detailed. He was accused of sending unauthorized communications, undermining trust operations, and alienating key stakeholders. While many of these actions might seem like minor disagreements, some rose to the level of significantly disrupting the trust’s operations. 

Disruptive Actions: Examples from the Case

One key example was Santiago’s communication with the trust’s former accountants. He sent letters and emails, without the authority of the other co-trustees, questioning their services and fees. This not only created a hostile environment but also led the accountants to decline further engagement with the trust. As a result, the trust incurred additional legal fees to locate a new auditor, diverting resources away from its primary purpose. 

Another significant disruption involved Santiago’s communications with Chesapeake, a company involved in oil and gas operations on the trust’s land. Santiago attempted to negotiate with them independently, without the consensus of the other co-trustees. This undermined the trust’s collective decision-making process and created confusion and uncertainty for Chesapeake, potentially jeopardizing valuable business relationships. 

These actions, among others, painted a picture of Santiago as someone who was not only difficult to work with but was actively hindering the trust’s ability to function effectively. 

The Legal Tango: Citizens Participation Act

Santiago argued that the lawsuit against him was an attack on his right to free speech and right to petition. He sought to dismiss the case under the Texas Citizens Participation Act, but the trial court didn’t rule in time, and the motion was denied by operation of law. 

The appeals court then had to decide whether the trial court’s denial was correct. The key question: Did Sonia, Victor, and Javier present enough evidence to establish a “prima facie case” that Santiago’s actions warranted his removal? 

The Verdict: Hostility Impeding Performance

The court sided with Sonia, Victor, and Javier. They found that Santiago’s actions were impeding the proper performance of the Trust. The court highlighted emails and letters demonstrating Santiago’s unilateral actions, his accusations of “conflicts, concealment, [and] corruption,” and his overall disruptive behavior. 

The Takeaway: Family, Finances, and Fiduciary Duty

This case underscores the challenges that arise when family members are appointed as co-trustees, especially when personal agendas and conflicting opinions come into play. While the Ramirez family’s initial decision to create a trust was a wise one, the selection of co-trustees ultimately led to significant conflict and operational challenges. 

A Better Solution?

Perhaps it’s time to consider professional trustees. Independent fiduciaries bring expertise, impartiality, and a focus on the best interests of the beneficiaries. They can navigate complex financial decisions, manage disputes, and ensure that the trust operates smoothly, without the added drama of family dynamics. 

While it might seem impersonal, a professional trustee can be the key to preserving family wealth and avoiding the kind of legal battles that can tear families apart. Sometimes, the best way to ensure a trust fulfills its intended purpose is to bring in a neutral party who can focus on the bottom line, without getting caught in the crossfire of family disagreements. 

Hollywood Cases Highlight the Benefits of Long Term Care Trusts.

March 4, 2025 /

When planning for long-term care, many individuals focus on purchasing insurance or setting aside assets to cover future expenses. However, financial abuse and mismanagement can derail even the best-laid plans. A long-term care trust offers a structured, protective approach to ensuring that funds are used appropriately, especially when an individual is no longer able to manage their own affairs.

What Is a Long-Term Care Trust?

A long-term care trust is a standby revocable trust designed to provide financial oversight for an individual’s long-term care needs. While the settlor (the person creating the trust) is capable, they retain control over the trust assets. However, the trust includes springing provisions—legal language that allows a successor trustee to step in and take over management if the settlor is deemed incapacitated.

The trust can own various assets, including long-term care insurance policies, life insurance policies with long-term care riders, and liquid assets designated for care-related expenses. Once the successor trustee takes over, they are responsible for filing insurance claims, paying expenses from the trust, and managing trust assets to ensure care needs are met.

Lessons from the John Amos and Mickey Rooney Cases

One of the most compelling reasons to consider a long-term care trust is to prevent financial exploitation, as tragically illustrated in the John Amos and Mickey Rooney cases.

John Amos, a well-known actor, who died in 2014, has been called a victim of elder financial abuse by his adult children, each claiming that the abuse was perpetrated by the other. 

Mickey Rooney, another famous actor, provided powerful testimony before Congress about the financial abuse he endured in his later years. Rooney described how he was isolated, financially exploited, and left without access to his own money. His testimony shed light on the widespread issue of elder financial abuse and the devastating impact it can have on an individual’s dignity and well-being.

A long-term care trust may have helped prevent such abuse by placing financial oversight in the hands of a designated trustee rather than leaving assets vulnerable to manipulation by infighting siblings or self-serving outsiders. With a properly structured trust, all care-related expenses are managed transparently and according to predefined terms, reducing the risk of unauthorized withdrawals or misuse.

Key Benefits of a Long-Term Care Trust

  1. Ensures Funds Are Used for Care Needs
    By designating a trust to own long-term care policies and other assets, funds are explicitly earmarked for care expenses. This prevents potential misappropriation by well-meaning but financially strained family members.

  2. Streamlines Insurance Claims and Payments
    Managing long-term care insurance claims can be overwhelming, especially when a person is already facing health challenges. The trustee, as the legal owner of the policy, handles all paperwork, ensuring that claims are filed correctly and benefits are used as intended.

  3. Protects Against Financial Exploitation
    With a structured oversight system in place, there is a clear fiduciary duty to manage funds appropriately. The trustee must follow the trust’s terms, keeping records and providing transparency that minimizes opportunities for fraud or undue influence.

  4. Reduces Family Conflicts and Burdens
    Family members often struggle with decisions about paying for care, especially when different parties have competing financial interests. A long-term care trust provides clear guidelines, removing ambiguity and reducing potential disputes.

  5. Offers Continuity and Professional Management
    If a person becomes incapacitated, the transition of financial management is seamless. The springing provision allows for immediate oversight by the successor trustee, avoiding court intervention or delays that could disrupt care.

Selecting the Right Trustee: The Case for a Professional

Perhaps the most critical decision when establishing a long-term care trust is choosing the right trustee. While some individuals select a family member, this can create conflicts of interest, emotional strain, and potential mismanagement. Instead, using a professional trustee—either an institutional trustee (such as a bank trust department) or an independent professional trustee—offers significant advantages:

  • Objectivity – A professional trustee is neutral and bound by fiduciary duties, making decisions based on the trust’s terms rather than personal interests.

  • Expertise – Managing long-term care expenses requires financial, legal, and insurance knowledge that a professional trustee brings to the table.

  • Accountability – Unlike family members, professional trustees are legally required to keep records, report transactions, and manage funds prudently.

  • Reliability – Professionals are available long-term and will not face personal circumstances (such as illness or financial hardship) that might interfere with management duties.

A long-term care trust is a powerful tool for ensuring that assets are managed effectively, claims are handled properly, and financial abuse is prevented. By structuring the trust with springing provisions and selecting a professional trustee, individuals can safeguard their care needs and provide peace of mind for themselves and their families.

In a world where financial abuse and care mismanagement are real threats, a well-crafted long-term care trust offers a practical, protective, and proactive solution. Whether planning for yourself or helping a loved one, considering this option is a smart financial move that can make all the difference when it matters most.

A Good Trustee Should Possess Competency AND Character

February 4, 2025 /

Trusts are a commonly used tool for individuals and families to preserve wealth for younger generations, protecting inheritances from both internal and external threats, or providing management of complex family assets for the benefit of family members and others. Stated simply, a trust is a legal arrangement between three parties – a Settlor who creates the trust; a Trustee who manages the trust; and a Beneficiary (or beneficiaries) who benefits from the trust. The agreement will have its own set of instructions for the trustee that direct the trustee on how to manage the property and when to give property – or the income derived from it – to the beneficiary. The trust must also have a termination date – a future time when the property of the trust is distributed to the surviving beneficiaries. Until then, which can be one hundred years or more, the property is held under the control of the trustee who manages it according to the original settlor’s wishes.

Trusts have also been described as pre-arranged marriages between beneficiaries and a trustee and like any marriage, work best when there is good communication between the parties. A trustee owes a unilateral duty of loyalty to the beneficiaries he or she is responsible for. With such an important and generational role, I am amazed at how little thought goes into choosing a trustee. I would like to suggest that there are four qualities to look for in a trustee that will help make the trustee – beneficiary relationship one that works well for all parties. These qualities apply to both individuals selected for this role such as family members, as well as to professional trustees.

When most people think of the characteristics of a professional trustee, they often focus on the trustee’s competency. However, aside from these minimum required qualifications – such as asset management expertise, administrative accuracy, and knowledge of fiduciary law – most of the conflicts that occur between trustees and trust beneficiaries are due to a breakdown in the character qualities of communication, collaboration, and connection. The graphic below illustrates the importance of both the competency and character attributes of a trustee.

Competency – Minimum Job Requirements

Any professional trustee who is authorized to act as trustee by the appropriate regulatory authority should be able to demonstrate core competency in asset management – that is the prudent investment and management of the assets placed in the trustee’s care; administrative capacity, which has to do with accurate record-keeping, following processes and procedures, and reporting to trust beneficiaries; and knowledge of trust law, which governs the actions of trustees and establishes standards of professional conduct and responsibility. Conflicts between beneficiaries and trustees are often due to a failure or “breach” in one of these competency areas on the part of the trustee. However, close examination of the court transcripts where these conflicts occasionally get argued, reveal that problems in the trustee-beneficiary relationship began long before the breach occurred.

Character Qualities: The Margin of Difference

Communication         

 Like with any relationship, good communication is key to making the trustee-beneficiary relationship a positive experience for everyone. Frankly, without clear, frequent, and open communication, the trustee-beneficiary relationship is doomed. At best, there will be tension between the parties and unmet expectations. At worst, the conflicts that will inevitably result may lead to costly litigation, fractured relationships, and loss of trust assets. Communication should go beyond simply providing an annual statement or reviewing the investment performance of trust assets. Important as this is, this level of communicating belongs more under competency standards than character qualities.

Communication that improves the quality of the relationship means that a trustee spends time with the beneficiaries in order to truly understand their personal and financial circumstances so that the trustee can make decisions that are in the best interests of the beneficiary. Many trusts instruct trustees to exercise discretion when it comes to doling out trust funds for beneficiaries, and to base their discretion on broad standards such as “support, maintenance, education, or health.”

Frankly, if the trustee is only available at the end of an 800# or is a long-distance trustee with no personal knowledge of the beneficiary’s individual needs, the level of communication will be insufficient to exercise the discretion required or to even know how to apply a support standard.

Collaboration

 Collaboration means that the trustee and beneficiaries agree to work together, with one another, as well as with others whose talents or history with the beneficiary family can help to accomplish the financial and aspirational goals that a trust has for its beneficiaries. For example, trustees may need to work with other professionals – investment advisors, property managers, legal and tax advisors, mineral managers, etc. – in order to effectively serve the beneficiaries and best manage the trust property.

Likewise, collaboration with beneficiaries by including them in the decision process and communicating the value of their input will only improve the quality of the relationship even though the final decision rests with the trustee.  The more collaborative the relationship between a trustee and a beneficiary can be, the less likely will conflicts erupt, and when they do, a collaborative approach to resolving the conflict can be achieved.

Connection

Connection seems to be especially challenging for those of us who are professional trustees. We often hide our empathy with beneficiaries behind the more technical aspects of our job and thereby fail to connect to beneficiaries at a human level. On the one hand, trustees must not allow emotions to interfere with their objective discretion and should not be influenced by the manipulative behavior that some beneficiaries have mastered.

On the other hand, trustees are frequently put in the position of mentor or surrogate, a role that is poorly performed when we fail to connect with beneficiaries. Helping a young beneficiary evaluate a business opportunity or buy their first home means walking alongside them in the process. When they think it’s a good idea to buy a $50,000 sports car when they are 18, a compassionate trustee can guide them into better decision-making as opposed to simply denying the request. This kind of connection is difficult to achieve if the trustee you have chosen is across the country or detached from the beneficiary.

Even when the trustee is an institution, there is always a person representing that institution whose job it is to understand the needs of trust beneficiaries and to carry out the intentions of the trust’s creator consistent with the worded agreement. Discretion should be subject to a checks and balances team that brings collective wisdom and objectivity to every situation where discretion is necessary.

So when it’s time to plan your legacy, think carefully about who you will entrust to carry it out.

Preparing for the Care of Pets

December 10, 2024 /

I am an 85 year old widow with one daughter who is estranged from me and will not inherit from my estate. My accountant tells me I have more than enough to take care of me for life. My concern is for my pets. I have several cats that I want to be sure are taken care of when I die or if I have to go to a nursing home. It would break my heart if they were separated or orphaned. One of my sitters has offered to care for them, but how can I be sure the money will be used for the care of my pets and not for personal gain?

Margaret B

Your pets have obviously been wonderful companions for you, especially since you are widowed and sadly, do not have a relationship with your daughter. Facing the reality of what will happen to your furry friends when you can no longer care for them is understandably daunting. Your concern for their well-being is admirable, and it’s wonderful to see how deeply you care for them. The good news is that there are several practical steps you can take to ensure that your pets are cared for in the way you desire, even after you are no longer able to do so.

Understanding Your Options

Your primary focus should be on establishing a plan that will guarantee your pets continued love, support, and care. Given that your daughter is estranged, it’s comforting to know that you have a pet sitter who is willing to step in. Before making any decisions, it’s essential to understand various options available to you.

  1. Pet Trusts: One of the most effective ways to ensure your pets are cared for according to your wishes is by establishing a pet trust. This legal arrangement allows you to set aside funds specifically for the care of your pets after you pass away or become unable to care for them. Pet trusts work by naming a trustee (which can be a trusted friend, family member, or professional) who will manage the funds you’ve allocated for your pets’ care. This can help ensure that the money is used exclusively for their welfare. Additionally, you can name a caregiver for your pets, such as your sitter, and provide them with specific instructions on how you want your pets to be treated.

Some key features of pet trusts include:

    • Accessibility: The funds are accessible to the caregiver for things like food, veterinary care, and any special needs your pets may have.
    • Oversight: A trustee can help monitor the use of funds, minimizing the risk of mismanagement.
    • Duration: Pet trusts can last for the duration of your pets’ lives, offering ongoing support.
  2. Incorporating Instructions in a Will: If establishing a pet trust feels overwhelming, you can also include instructions about your pets in your will. This can designate your sitter or another trusted friend as their caregiver after your passing. However, one downside to this approach is that funds for your pets’ care may not be as protected and may be used for unintended purposes.
Continue reading

My Step-Brother is Trustee of My Trust – and I hate it!

November 19, 2024 /

I am a beneficiary of a trust created for me, my older sister, and my step-brother, "Sam" - the only son of my mother's late husband, Max. When Max died, there was a trust set up for Mom, and when Mom died, the trust continued for the benefit of the three of us. My step-brother "Sam" is the trustee and I hate it. It seems whenever I ask for something out of the trust, Sam goes out of his way to make my life difficult. I have to justify every request with a complete run down of my financial situation, including my bank account balance, what I owe on my car, even my credit card balance. It's embarrassing to have to undress financially in front of my step-brother every time I need something. Is there anything I can do to remove him or am I stuck in this arrangement?

Sandra T.

When it comes to family trusts, emotions can run high alongside financial considerations, especially in situations like this. Being a beneficiary of a trust is meant to provide financial support and security, but when the dynamics become strained—particularly with a family member serving as the trustee—things can become complicated.

Let’s explore the roles and responsibilities of a trustee, the challenges that can arise in family trusts, and potential steps you can take if the relationship with your trustee becomes problematic. It’s important to approach this topic with diplomacy, as family dynamics can be delicate and complex. Most lawyers will tell you that the courtroom should be the arbitor of last resort.

The Trustee's Role

To start, let’s clarify the primary responsibilities of a trustee. Trustees are individuals or institutions designated to administer the trust according to its terms and in the best interests of the beneficiaries. This includes managing trust assets, distributing funds as outlined in the trust agreement, and maintaining accurate records.

In your case, Sam, your step-brother, is serving as that trustee. Ideally, a trustee should act with transparency, fairness, and respect towards all beneficiaries. Unfortunately, family dynamics can complicate this role, and emotions may cloud judgment or lead to perceived unfairness. 

For example, the trust may require the trustee to determine whether a requested distribution to a beneficiary meets the support standards it establishes. This investigation when a family member is trustee can seem more invasive than if the trustee was a detached person or entity.

Understanding Your Position as a Beneficiary

As a beneficiary, you have rights to the trust assets as specified within the trust agreement. This generally means you are entitled to request distributions. However, it’s not uncommon for trustees to seek some financial context behind these requests, which can sometimes feel intrusive. While it may be reasonable for Sam to ask for some information to ensure that distributions align with the trust’s intent, it’s essential to find a balance that respects your privacy.

It’s important to communicate openly with Sam about how his requests make you feel. He may not realize the discomfort it causes you, and honest dialogue can sometimes alleviate such tensions.

Challenges of Family Dynamics

Family members often find themselves in roles that blur personal and professional lines, especially when money is involved. Your relationship with Sam as both a step-brother and trustee can make this situation even more delicate. Trust issues can arise not because of malice but due to misunderstandings, differing expectations, or even emotional responses stemming from loss.

When confronting challenges with a trustee, it can be beneficial to remind yourself that these situations are not uncommon. Many beneficiaries may experience frustrations around trust distributions, and seeking resolutions while maintaining family harmony can be particularly tricky.

If you feel that Sam’s actions are unreasonable or overly burdensome, consider these steps:

  1. Communicate Openly: Start with an open conversation. Share your feelings about the financial disclosures required for distributions. This can be a delicate conversation, but framing it in a way that emphasizes your discomfort can lead to a more constructive dialogue.

  2. Request Clarity on Trust Terms: Look into the terms of the trust. If it provides specific guidelines on distribution requests and the trustee’s responsibilities, it can help clarify what is fair and expected. While you may not have legal clarity, understanding these terms will bolster your position for further discussions.

  3. Seek Mediation: Sometimes, having a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator, can help facilitate discussions. This person can serve as a mediator in contentious situations and help keep conversations constructive.

  4. Explore Legal Options: If discussions do not yield a satisfactory outcome, you may want to consult with a legal professional specializing in trusts. They can provide you with guidance on your rights as a beneficiary, the potential for removing a trustee, and the processes involved. It’s important to seek an informative consultation without assuming it leads to litigation.

  5. Document Everything: Keep records of your communications and requests. If things escalate or legal intervention becomes necessary, having a clear history can be invaluable. This documentation may also help if you need to present your case to a legal professional.

  6. Consider the Long-term Relationship: Before taking action that may significantly impact your relationship with Sam, carefully weigh the repercussions. Family ties are invaluable, and often taking a step back to assess the situation can promote healthier long-term dynamics.

Keeping the main thing the main thing

Navigating trust relationships, especially within families, can be fraught with complexities. It’s crucial to approach these situations with a blend of empathy, understanding, and assertiveness. As a beneficiary, remember that you have rights, but strive for a path that honors both those rights and your family relationships.

While you may feel constrained by your circumstances, open communication and informed actions can pave a way forward. You’re not alone in facing these difficulties; many beneficiaries encounter similar challenges. By seeking understanding and resolution, you can work toward a balanced outcome that honors both your needs and the trust’s intentions. Remember, seeking knowledge and support is a powerful step in ensuring that family and trust matters are handled with care.

Siblings concerned about Step-Mother’s Use of Trust Fund

September 26, 2024 /

My dad passed away about seven years ago and left a sizeable trust to his wife. The trust is supposed to take care of her for her life before passing to me and my three siblings when she dies. That's all we know about it. We think she is the trustee, but we've never asked because we want to avoid drama. We know she has other assets that she brought into the marriage so we hope she's not draining the trust at our expense. How do we go about finding out the details of this trust, such as how much is in it, what it's being used for, and who is in control of it?

Missy F

This is a tough but very common family situation, caused in part, by a lack of communication about your dad’s plan while he was living. When your dad passed away and left a trust for your stepmother, it undoubtedly added layers to an already emotional situation. Now, faced with uncertainty about the trust’s details and anxious about its potential impact on your inheritance, you’re understandably concerned.

Finding out about the specifics of a family trust, especially when feelings run high, requires a gentle and thoughtful approach. Here’s some ways you can seek the information you need while preserving family harmony.

Continue reading

How to Divide Sentimental Items in an Estate

September 24, 2024 /

My mom recently passed away and I am the executor of her will. The will is fairly simple with everything divided equally between me and my four siblings. The problem is that there are a lot of heirloom items, including art, jewelry, furnishings, and several sentimental items that I know several of us have an interest in. Some are worth quite a bit, but most of it holds only sentimental value. Since I am responsible for dividing these items equally, how can I fairly and objectively do this without it looking like I'm favoring myself?

Betsy T.

First of all, I’d like to extend my heartfelt condolences for the loss of your mother. Navigating the complexities of grief while handling the responsibilities of being an executor can be an incredibly challenging task. It’s commendable that you’re seeking a fair and objective way to manage your mother’s legacy while honoring her memory and considering your siblings’ feelings.

Continue reading

Dad has Alzheimer’s. Mom asked me to take over the finances. Where do I start?

September 17, 2024 /

I just found out my dad has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. My mom called me and through tears asked if I would take over their financial affairs while she tends to Dad's care. I have no idea where to start, what they have, or where to find anything. I think they are fairly well off. They live comfortably and own a vacation property in Idaho that we all use occasionally. I have an older brother, so I'm not sure if I have the authority to do anything. She did say they have Wills in a safe deposit box, but I don't know how to access it. What should I do now?

Shelly T.

Receiving news about a loved one’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis is undoubtedly a heavy burden. It’s challenging to process the emotional ramifications, and on top of that, your mother is reaching out for help regarding their financial affairs. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed and unsure of where to start, but you’re not alone in this.

While this will be a profoundly personal journey, here are a few tips to begin the process of taking over financial decisions.

Continue reading

Why Banks Might Refuse a POA

August 13, 2024 /

I hold a valid power of attorney for my mother, but when I tried to use it at her bank, the bank refused to recognize it. Why would the bank refuse to honor a valid legal document?

Nancy s.

As a holder of a power of attorney (POA) for a loved one, it can be incredibly frustrating when a bank refuses to recognize this legal document. You may believe that you have the authority to act on your mother’s behalf, but banks sometimes take a cautious approach when it comes to powers of attorney. Let’s explore some common reasons banks might refuse to honor a valid POA and what you can do if you find yourself in this situation.

Continue reading
« Older posts

© 2025 Wealth and Honor

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑