Tag: dementia (Page 1 of 2)

Fool Me Once, Shame on You. Fool Me Twice…

April 24, 2025 / David Russell

Family disputes over inheritance can be messy, emotional, and, as demonstrated in the California Court of Appeal case LINTZ v LINTZ, costly. This case serves as a cautionary tale, highlighting the importance of clear communication, professional advice, and understanding the concept of undue influence when it comes to estate planning. While we won’t delve into legal advice, let’s explore some of the missteps made and how families can potentially avoid similar situations.

The Case Overview

In Lintz v. Lintz, the central figures are Robert, a real estate developer worth millions, his third wife, Lois, and his children, Susan and James, from his second marriage. Interestingly, Lois was also Robert’s first wife, albeit for a brief six-month period. Robert had a complicated estate plan established before remarrying Lois in 2005. After their remarriage, Robert amended his trust several times, increasingly favoring Lois. Eventually, a new trust, the Lintz Family Revocable Trust, was created. This trust designated all of Robert’s property as community property, gave Lois an exclusive life interest in the estate, and even allowed her to disinherit one of Robert’s children and leave any unspent assets to her own children. Critically, this trust was not prepared by Robert’s long-standing attorney, but by Lois’ attorney at her direction.

After Robert’s death, Susan and James challenged the trust, alleging financial elder abuse, breach of fiduciary duty, conversion, constructive trust, and undue influence. The court found Lois liable for financial elder abuse, breach of fiduciary duty, and conversion of separate property. While the court found Robert had the testamentary capacity to execute the trust instruments, it also found Lois liable for undue influence in procuring Robert’s estate plans.

Missteps and Missed Opportunities

Several factors contributed to the unfortunate outcome in this case. Let’s examine some key areas:

Lack of Transparency: The increasing shift of assets towards Lois, especially the designation of all property as community property, appears to have occurred without clear communication or understanding from all parties involved. Open discussions about estate planning decisions can help prevent misunderstandings and suspicions.
Sudden Changes in Estate Planning: The series of trust amendments that increasingly favored Lois, culminating in the Lintz Family Revocable Trust, should have raised red flags. While people are free to change their estate plans, drastic and frequent alterations, especially when influenced by a new relationship, warrant careful scrutiny.
Disregarding Professional Advice: The fact that Robert signed the Lintz Family Revocable Trust against the advice of his own counsel is a significant misstep. Seeking and heeding professional advice from experienced estate planning attorneys can help ensure that decisions are made with full understanding and are free from undue influence.
The “Community Property” Assumption: Designating all of Robert’s property as community property, especially given that he had significant assets before the marriage, is a complex legal issue. It’s crucial to understand the implications of community property laws and how they affect estate planning.
Attorney Conflict of Interest: The Lintz Family Revocable Trust was prepared by Lois’ attorney, not Robert’s. This raises serious questions about potential conflicts of interest and whether Robert received truly independent legal advice.
Isolation and Control: The court noted that Lois misinformed Robert’s lawyers of his wishes and ultimately discontinued their services under the pretext of a fee dispute. This suggests a level of control and isolation that can be indicative of undue influence.

Understanding Undue Influence

The concept of undue influence is central to this case. Undue influence, in the context of estate planning, refers to a situation where someone exerts pressure or control over another person, overcoming their free will and causing them to make decisions they wouldn’t otherwise make.

While direct evidence of undue influence is rare, courts often consider circumstantial evidence, such as:

The vulnerability of the person being influenced: Was Robert in a weakened state, either physically or emotionally, that made him susceptible to Lois’s influence?
The influencer’s opportunity to exert influence: Did Lois have close and constant contact with Robert, giving her ample opportunity to influence his decisions?
The influencer’s motive: Did Lois stand to benefit significantly from the changes to Robert’s estate plan?
Whether the result was unnatural: Were the changes to Robert’s estate plan inconsistent with his previous wishes or relationships with his children?

Legal Capacity vs. Undue Influence

It’s important to distinguish between legal capacity and undue influence. The court in Lintz v. Lintz found that Robert had the legal capacity to execute the trust documents. Legal capacity refers to a person’s ability to understand the nature and consequences of their actions. In estate planning, it means understanding that you are signing a will or trust, knowing what property you own, and understanding your relationship to the people who will inherit from you.

Even if someone has legal capacity, they can still be subject to undue influence. Undue influence is about how the decision was made, not whether the person understood the decision. It’s about whether their free will was overcome by someone else’s pressure or control.

Preventing Similar Situations

So, how can families prevent similar situations from arising? Here are some practical steps:

Open Communication: Encourage open and honest conversations about estate planning decisions.
Independent Legal Advice: Ensure that all parties involved have access to independent legal counsel.
Maintain Relationships: Encourage the person making estate planning decisions to maintain relationships with family and friends.
Document Everything: Keep detailed records of all estate planning decisions, including the reasons for those decisions.
Be Vigilant: Be aware of any sudden or drastic changes in estate planning, especially if they seem out of character.
Avoid Conflicts of Interest: Ensure that attorneys representing individuals in estate planning matters are free from conflicts of interest.

The Lintz v. Lintz case serves as a stark reminder of the importance of careful estate planning and the potential for family disputes when things go wrong. By fostering open communication, seeking professional advice, understanding the concepts of undue influence and legal capacity, and avoiding potential conflicts of interest, families can take steps to protect their loved ones and prevent similar unfortunate outcomes.

Comparing and Contrasting Advanced Aging and Wealth Disparities

February 18, 2025 / David Russell

Early in my career, my sales manager asked his group of trainees of which I was one, “what is the difference between and elderly gentleman and an old man.” His response... “Money.”

Aging is an inescapable aspect of the human experience, and yet, the pathways through advanced age can be profoundly affected by various socio-economic factors, particularly wealth disparities. While financial resources impact access to care and quality of life for older adults, wealth alone does not guarantee a positive aging experience. Instead, the availability of resources often hinges on the willingness and commitment of caregivers, healthcare professionals, and community systems to provide adequate support.

Physical Health

As we enter advanced age, we inevitably face a range of physical challenges, including chronic illnesses, mobility issues, and sensory declines. While the wealthier among us may typically enjoy better overall health outcomes due to greater access to quality healthcare, nutrition, and supportive living environments, having financial means does not inherently ensure effective care.

Access to healthcare requires not only financial resources but also a network of committed healthcare providers, family members, and community support systems. Wealthy individuals might struggle if their caregivers are untrained, unavailable, or unwilling to facilitate their healthcare needs. Even with the best financial means, older adults can encounter barriers if there are no supportive systems in place to bridge the gap between available resources and personal needs. Michael Jackson had immense wealth and popularity, but towards the end of his life, he faced significant financial and personal challenges. Despite his financial resources, he had ongoing battles with management and family members over how his wealth was managed and was often surrounded by individuals who may not have had his best interests at heart.

Additionally, affluent seniors may have access to physical therapy, personal trainers, or wellness programs, but their benefits depend largely on the commitment and expertise of those administering the services. If caregivers lack the necessary skills or motivation to engage individuals in maintaining their physical health, the impact of wealth can be diminished. Therefore, it becomes crucial to recognize that financial ability without the support of capable caregivers may not translate to better health outcomes in aging.

Psychological Well-being

The psychological dimensions of aging are equally complex, with the implications of financial status playing a pivotal role in mental health. Feelings of loneliness and depression are profound concerns for seniors, particularly those facing the isolation that can accompany advancing age. Wealth can potentially provide mechanisms to combat loneliness—such as access to social clubs, travel, or companionship services—but again, financial means do not guarantee emotional well-being. Howard Hughes, the world’s first billionaire, suffered from years of self-neglect and declining mental health.

Wealthy individuals often benefit from networks that can provide such engagement, but they remain dependent on the reliability and affection of those around them. A lack of authentic connection can lead to feelings of emptiness, regardless of financial security. Conversely, seniors with limited financial means may find solace and community among family and friends, fostering psychological resilience even in the face of economic constraints.

Moreover, the attitudes and values of society toward aging can affect how both wealthy and impoverished individuals perceive their aging experience. In cultures that devalue the elderly or view aging as a burden, both wealth and poverty can lead to feelings of despair. What is required, therefore, is not just a financial remedy but a cultural shift that underscores the importance of maintaining psychological health through connection and mutual respect.

Cultural Perceptions

Cultural contexts wield considerable influence over the experiences of aging and perceptions of dignity. In societies that honor elders, aging is often regarded as a time of wisdom and respect, with cultural rituals and familial support playing crucial roles regardless of economic status. Here, dignity can be preserved through community engagement and intergenerational connections, promoting a rich sense of belonging.

However, wealth-driven cultures may regard aging more negatively, often associating it with decline and reduced productivity. This perspective can be particularly damaging for those who are financially disadvantaged. Yet, wealthier individuals are not entirely insulated from ageism—experiences of bias can still permeate their lives if society does not respect and value older adults. Actor Micky Rooney’s family gained control over his assets and personal freedom, even as the actor was objecting to the very authorities that were in place to protect him. Only after hiring and taking legal action, did he prevail with regaining his autonomy.

The key to maintaining dignity across cultural spectrums lies in fostering environments that are inclusive and supportive. This can be achieved through community programs that promote understanding and appreciation of aging and encourage engagement between generations. Such initiatives can help bridge the gap between economic divides, reinforcing the idea that respect for elders should not be predicated on financial status.

Dignity and Integrity Across Wealth Status

Ultimately, dignity and integrity are universal entitlements that transcend financial circumstances. Regardless of wealth, all individuals deserve recognition and respect for their life journeys. The challenge lies in creating a society that honors this belief and ensures equitable access to resources and support. All of the world’s wisdom traditions include honoring elders as one of its core tenants, but we have a history of unobservance. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for their legalistic adherence to tithing, while they pardoned parental neglect (Matthew 15:1-9).

One promising trend is the development of intergenerational relationships that enable older adults to share their wisdom and experiences while offering younger generations insights into the realities of aging. In doing so, society nurtures an environment where all elders feel valued and empowered.

In this world view, it matters not whether someone accesses care and services through charity, Medicaid, or from personal wealth, each is treated the same.

The relationship between advanced aging and wealth disparities presents both opportunities and challenges. While financial resources can significantly influence physical health, psychological well-being, and cultural perceptions, they do not exist in isolation. The availability of these resources ultimately hinges on the commitment and compassion of caregivers, family members, and community networks. By recognizing and embracing the inherent dignity of every individual, regardless of their financial situation, society can cultivate an environment where all older adults are respected, valued, and supported in their journey through aging. In this way, the focus shifts from the limitations imposed by wealth disparities to the shared human experience of aging, highlighting the importance of connection, mutual respect, and integrity.

When Mom or Dad Want to Marry…at 80!

February 14, 2025 / David Russell

It’s Valentine’s week and romance is in the air. One of the joys I get from lunching with Mom at her retirement community is to hear the latest gossip about the budding romances among the residents, most of whom are well into their 80’s and 90’s. There have been more than a few marriages that result from these new relationships, most occurring after a fairly brief courtship. As one fellow remarked to me one day, “son, at our age, it’s dangerous to buy greenn bananas.”

If you are the adult child of an aging parent who also happens to be single, you may one day be introduced to a “special friend” in their life. Normally, your reaction may be something like, “how cute” or “way to go Dad” but if the relationship quickly becomes more serious or if you’re suddenly asked to give your blessing to their marriage, this can be a very troubling event. In preparation for writing this article, I googled “aging parent wants to get remarried” and most of the search results were forum posts from adult children seeking advice on how to deal with Mom or Dad’s new romance that has gone from sweet to sour because now they want to get married!

All sorts of questions run through your mind and you may find yourself experiencing anger, fear, or resentment at the prospect of this person interrupting Mom or Dad’s perfectly lonely existence. Somewhere in-between the extremes of “I forbid it” (like that’s gonna work) and “It’s your life, do what you want” can be found a position of legitimate care for their happiness and concern that they not be hurt by the experience. Recently a judge intervened in the marriage of a couple in their mid-nineties due to concerns expressed by the bride’s daughter questioning the marriage’s legitimacy.

In his article titled “How to Deal With an Elderly Parent’s Remarriage – Resolving Issues” author and financial advisor Michael Lewis, gives some wise advice when talking to your aging parent about their choice to remarry late in life.

Be Respectful. You are speaking with the one remaining person who brought you into this world and who will always love you.
Try to Put Yourself In Your Parent’s Position. They are trying to make the best of a very difficult situation. They seek your blessing and understanding, so listen carefully and thoughtfully before making your own point or expressing your doubts.
Avoid Accusations, Recriminations, and Ultimatums. Your parent has already experienced and worked through the guilt often associated with remarriage after the death of the spouse.
Curb Your Instincts to Attack or Belittle Your Parent’s Choice of Mate. It is never a good idea to potentially offend your mother or father in such a petty manner.

On the other hand, there may be legitimate concerns about Mom or Dad’s new relationship. Studies show that as we age our brain’s ability to make sound judgments becomes impaired. This is not necessarily dementia, just biology. Most state laws include an elderly person in a group called “vulnerable adults” because of this biological fact.

Three factors contribute to the vulnerability of an older person: diminished capacity, lack of informed consent, and undue influence. Each of these could be at work in an older person’s romantic relationship and any one of them would give question to the legitimacy of a marriage. For example, if Mom has diminished capacity – a condition that may have to be proven by a qualified physician – she might not have the legal capacity to enter into a marriage contract. Or suppose she has capacity but was not given enough information to give informed consent when she signed over control of her assets to her new spouse in a durable power of attorney. Or maybe she did know exactly what she was doing but signed the power of attorney to her new spouse anyway because he told her if she did not sign it, he would not take care of her in her old age, which would be subjecting her to undue influence.

The best way to prevent either of these vulnerabilities from hurting either party is to have an honest conversation with your parent about your concerns. If you sense this new “special” person has interests other than companionship, then intervention might be required, but hopefully this can be avoided by remaining respectful of each of them and involving neutral parties. While keeping in mind the points that Michael Lewis makes above, I suggest a meeting with other family members and a neutral mediator.

Ask Mom or Dad if they are open to discussing their marriage with a family counselor, clergy member, or attorney. It could be that a more neutral party will come across as less threatening than you and they may be more willing to listen to that person than to you. Speak openly about your concerns over property and other assets. Even if you have blessed the marriage and no sign of the three areas of vulnerability are evident, they will likely be unaware or unconcerned about property and financial division. Have them meet with an estate attorney or other qualified advisor who can help them understand the complexities of blending two financial households. Once they realize the burden this might place on their surviving children, they will more likely be willing to take the appropriate steps.

It seems that many adult children assume the proper role of a parent who becomes widowed late in life is to just remain that way for the rest of their life. In doing so, we diminish their dignity by denying them the companionship and affection that they enjoyed for 50 or 60 years as if that need vanishes when their spouse predeceases them. Instead, we could adopt the same position as we might with our own adult children: blessing a relationship that makes them happy while protecting them if we can from those that might hurt them. It’s a delicate balancing act on either end of the age spectrum.

Son of aging patriarch wants to maintain his dad’s honor.

January 28, 2025 / David Russell

I come from a family of significant wealth. My father is now 81 years old, and while he seems mentally sharp, some of his decision-making has been uncharacteristic. He recently made a large donation to a charity he had never given to before. He is a proud man, and reluctant to give up control, even though there are things in place when the time comes. How do we broach the subject with him and what can we do if he refuses to accept the facts? We want him to keep his dignity and position.

Manuel V.

Navigating Conversations About Wealth and Aging with Grace

In families where financial success has been a hallmark, discussions surrounding wealth, control, and legacy can be tough—especially as parents age. Your father’s recent charitable contributions may raise concerns, but it’s essential to approach this sensitive subject with empathy and respect. Here’s how you can navigate these delicate conversations while preserving his dignity and allowing him to feel valued as the patriarch of the family.

Understanding the Situation

First, it’s important to recognize that many factors can influence decision-making as we age. Aging by itself does not necessarily lead to poor decision-making or dementia. Just look at Warren Buffet and Charlie Munger! While your father may still be mentally sharp, the complexities of life—both personal and financial—can lead to decisions that seem uncharacteristic. However, before you leap to conclusions, seeking to understand his motivations could serve as a foundation for a productive conversation. Perhaps his charitable donation stems from a newfound passion, a desire to leave an impactful legacy, or even a change in perspectives about wealth and its purpose.

Offer a Safe Space for Dialogue

Instead of confronting your father with concerns about his decision-making, create a comfortable atmosphere to discuss his feelings about wealth and legacy. Consider inviting him to share his thoughts during a leisurely meal or while engaging in activities he enjoys. Approach the conversation with an open heart, focused on the emotions behind his actions rather than the actions themselves. This doesn’t merely preserve his dignity; it also fosters connection, allowing him to voice his values and aspirations openly.

Engaging with Empathy

When you do address the topic, use “I” statements to express your feelings. For instance, “I feel concerned when I see you making decisions that seem different from what I know about you,” can invite a thoughtful dialogue, as opposed to “You need to stop making these kinds of decisions.” By framing your concerns in a personal way, you reduce the chances of triggering defensiveness and encourage an exchange of ideas.

Find Common Ground

Discussing your values around wealth can create a shared understanding. Explore the family’s legacy and your father’s vision for it versus your own aspirations. Ask questions like, “How do you envision our family’s impact in the community?” or “What causes have you always wanted to support?” This can lead to meaningful conversation about future donations, charitable engagements, or family philanthropy.

Easing Control Through Involvement

If your father shows reluctance to discuss his wealth management or the options you’ve prepped for the future, consider inviting him to participate in the planning process rather than sidelining him. Ask him for guidance or his ideas on legacy planning, investment strategies, or philanthropy initiatives. Validating his input can ease any feelings of loss over control and provide comfort in knowing that his opinions still hold weight.

Acknowledge His Fears

Social aging can evoke fears of loss—of autonomy, control, and identity. While you might fully understand the necessity of planning, your father may experience anxiety when contemplating his mortality or the redistribution of his wealth. Reassure him that your concerns stem from love and respect, and that preserving his legacy is the ultimate goal.

Acceptance and Action

If discussions reveal that your father is resistant to acknowledging potential declines in his decision-making capabilities, you might need to accept this reality gracefully. Allow him the space to control his narrative. However, it is vital to prepare for potential scenarios down the road. If discussions don’t lead to substantial change, subtle discussions about bringing in neutral third parties—such as financial advisors or family mediators—can create new avenues for guidance without negating his voice.

Preserving the Seat of Honor

Above all, it is crucial to maintain that seat of honor for your father. Celebrating his achievements, contributions, and wisdom will reinforce his sense of identity while you navigate these conversations. Family rituals, storytelling sessions about past adventures, and affirmations of his importance set a highly respectful groundwork for future discussions.

A Gentle Path Forward

Addressing the nuances of wealth and aging doesn’t have to compromise familial respect or affection. Approach conversations with understanding and empathy, and focus on preserving your father’s dignity throughout the process. The goal is to nurture a dialogue rooted in love while making sure he knows that his voice matters—now and in the future. As you engage in these talks, remember: it’s about collaboration, co-creating a vision for the future, and ensuring he feels cherished and in control every step of the way.

Daughter-in-law uses the “D Word” with Mom.

December 3, 2024 / David Russell

I am 81 years old and I live with my son and daughter-in-law. My husband died two years ago and my son insisted I move in with he and his wife. The problem is, my daughter-in-law thinks I have dementia, and uses hurtful comments like, 'well, that's just your dementia talking' or 'you must have Alzheimer's because you're so forgetful.' I hate being a burden on them, but I am most upset that my husband and I did not have a plan for this time in our life. I'd rather be living in my own home, but I don't see a way out. I feel trapped.

Margaret T.

I want you to know that your feelings of frustration and being trapped are valid, and it takes immense courage to share your thoughts. The transition into a new living arrangement at this stage in life, especially after the loss of your husband, can be incredibly challenging. You deserve to feel respected, valued, and autonomous even if you aren’t in your own home.

It’s important to recognize that both you and your daughter-in-law may be feeling overwhelmed. Caregiving can be exhausting, and sometimes stress can lead to comments that hurt more than help. Acknowledging that both sides may be struggling can create a foundation for better communication.

Open Communication is Key

I encourage you to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your son and daughter-in-law. Consider proposing a family meeting where everyone can express their feelings in a safe space. It may be beneficial to prepare what you want to say beforehand, so you feel more confident in expressing your thoughts clearly.

Express how hurtful comments about your cognitive state make you feel. You have the right to set boundaries around how you wish to be spoken to, and doing so can help foster a more respectful and supportive atmosphere at home.

Exploring Options for Independence

If living independently is something you desire, this could be a good time to explore options:

Discuss Alternative Living Arrangements: You could gently approach the idea of looking into independent living or assisted living facilities that might provide the support you need while allowing you to have your own space.
Maintain Your Social Life: It’s critical that you are able to maintain your social life. If there are friends that you connected with before, take measures to reconnect with them through activities, outings, or personal visits. If this isn’t possible, then using technology to connect with these friends in a personal way should be explored. This will help with feelings of isolation.
Consider Home Care Services: If it feels right, suggest the possibility of hiring a part-time caregiver. This could alleviate some of the burden on your son and daughter-in-law while allowing you to maintain privacy and independence.
Leverage Technology: If forgetfulness is concerning, devices that offer reminders for daily tasks can help manage that worry and allow you to maintain autonomy.

Dealing with Regrets

It’s clear that you are grappling with significant emotions, including regret about not having made plans for this phase of life with your husband. It’s common for many couples to focus on the present rather than anticipating future changes, which can sometimes lead to feelings of uncertainty and helplessness. Recognizing this regret is painful, but it can also offer a valuable lesson to others who may find themselves in similar situations.

The truth is that life can be unpredictable; having a plan, even a loose one, can provide a sense of security and options when challenges arise. As difficult as it is to navigate these circumstances now, your experience serves as an important reminder for others: it’s never too late to start planning for the future, regardless of age. Engaging in discussions about potential care needs, living arrangements, and preferences, even when everything seems fine, can pave the way for smoother transitions later.

Prioritizing Your Wellbeing

As you navigate these challenges, don’t forget to prioritize your mental health. Setting aside time for hobbies, reading, or simply relaxing can help you rediscover joy in daily life. If you feel comfortable, talking to a counselor or joining a support group for seniors can also provide a valuable outlet.

Consider keeping a gratitude journal to focus on the positives in your life, which can be empowering and uplifting as you work through this transition.

Moving Forward

Remember that though it may feel difficult, there are paths to reclaim your agency and independence. Your feelings matter, and advocating for your own needs is both important and appropriate. Life transitions can indeed be daunting, but with open communication and proactive steps, you can guide your situation toward greater respect and fulfillment.

I hope these suggestions resonate with you, and I wish you all the best as you move forward. You are not alone in this journey, and there is hope for a fulfilling future.

Dad has Alzheimer’s. Mom asked me to take over the finances. Where do I start?

September 17, 2024 / David Russell

I just found out my dad has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. My mom called me and through tears asked if I would take over their financial affairs while she tends to Dad's care. I have no idea where to start, what they have, or where to find anything. I think they are fairly well off. They live comfortably and own a vacation property in Idaho that we all use occasionally. I have an older brother, so I'm not sure if I have the authority to do anything. She did say they have Wills in a safe deposit box, but I don't know how to access it. What should I do now?

Shelly T.

Receiving news about a loved one’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis is undoubtedly a heavy burden. It’s challenging to process the emotional ramifications, and on top of that, your mother is reaching out for help regarding their financial affairs. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed and unsure of where to start, but you’re not alone in this.

While this will be a profoundly personal journey, here are a few tips to begin the process of taking over financial decisions.

Negotiation Techniques for Adult Children of Aging Parents

August 11, 2023 / David Russell

In an insightful article published on KFFhealthnews.org by Judith Graham, titled “Negotiate with Resistant Aging Parents: Applying Business Strategies,” researchers at Northwestern University explore the application of negotiation and dispute resolution techniques from the business world to defuse conflicts arising from caregiving and financial decisions involving elderly parents. As we strive to provide the best care for our aging loved ones, this article sheds light on strategies to navigate complex situations while respecting their autonomy and dignity. The article delves into a training curriculum designed to help professionals and family caregivers approach caregiving as a collaborative effort and offers valuable insights for fostering productive conversations.

Reaching an impasse with aging parents in their late 80s who resist the idea of receiving home assistance can be frustrating. Negotiation and dispute resolution techniques commonly employed in the business world have shown potential for resolving such conflicts, according to a group of researchers at Northwestern University.

The team has developed a specialized training program focused on negotiation and dispute resolution. Aimed at social workers, care managers, and healthcare professionals working with resistant older adults, this curriculum encourages professionals to engage in collaborative caregiving approaches that honor the individual’s preferences, rather than imposing decisions.

Lee Lindquist, the chief of geriatrics at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, who leads this initiative, highlighted the prevalence of conflicts among older individuals and emphasized the program’s goal to de-escalate such situations, ensuring older adults receive the necessary support while maintaining their dignity.

A significant component of this project is the development of a computer-based training program for family caregivers dealing with mild cognitive impairment or early-stage dementia in their loved ones. Dubbed “NegotiAge,” this program employs avatars of older adults to simulate negotiation scenarios. Through practice, caregivers can refine their negotiation skills and techniques.

This project, funded by the National Institutes of Health with nearly $4 million, strives to make NegotiAge widely accessible after evaluating its effectiveness.

For family caregivers seeking to navigate conflicts with aging parents, the article outlines several proactive steps:

1. Prepare: Before entering negotiations, thorough preparation is vital. Jeanne Brett, a member of the NegotiAge team, suggests addressing fundamental questions, identifying issues, involved parties, their positions, motivations, and potential consequences if an agreement is not reached. Document your goals for the upcoming conversations.

2. Identify Common Interests: Finding common ground among the parties involved is key. Emphasize shared goals and interests, such as maintaining the older adult’s independence, safety, and social connections.

3. Ask Questions: Avoid making assumptions about the reasons behind a parent’s stance. Engage in open-ended discussions to understand their perspective. Show empathy and genuine concern.

4. Brainstorm Strategies: Emotions can run high during negotiations, particularly within family dynamics. Shift focus from conflicts to collaborative problem-solving. Encourage creative thinking and explore multiple potential solutions.

5. Third-Party Involvement: If resolution remains elusive, consider involving a neutral third party, like a mediator or healthcare professional. External input can provide a fresh perspective and facilitate productive discussions.

Applying these strategies can lead to more effective communication, allowing families to navigate challenging decisions while preserving relationships and respecting the autonomy and dignity of aging parents. As the Northwestern University research advances, caregivers and professionals alike stand to benefit from enhanced tools and approaches to address the complexities of eldercare.

To read the full article by Judith Graham on KFFhealthnews.org, visit: Negotiate with Resistant Aging Parents: Applying Business Strategies.

Alzheimer’s Researchers Study a Rare Brain – The New York Times

December 15, 2020 / drussellcfp

Aliria Rosa Piedrahita de Villegas carried a rare genetic mutation that had all but guaranteed she would develop Alzheimer’s disease in her 40s. But only at age 72 did she experience the first symptoms of it.

Now researchers are studying Aliria’s donated brain to try and unlock the genetic secrets that may have delayed the disease’s onset.

Source: Alzheimer’s Researchers Study a Rare Brain – The New York Times

Are your aging parents prone to hiding cash around the house? Be aware of the pitfalls.

August 12, 2020 / drussellcfp

Texas Attorney Virginia Hammerle writes about the dangers of leaving cash hidden around the house or elsewhere as inheritances to be discovered after the owner’s death.

Your cash may never be found. Your house and/or its contents could burn up, get sold in an estate sale or be blown apart by a tornado. The dog could eat it. It could turn into a block of moldy and unrecognizable paper.

When you are doing your estate planning, do not forget to make a plan for distributing your cash. Here’s why you should have a plan in place.

Source: Dash for Cash – Informal Funding of Inheritance Has Hidden Dangers

The Financial Impact of Dementia

April 23, 2020 / drussellcfp

In the video below, Robert Powell, editor of The Street’s Retirement Daily, and Angie O’Leary, head of wealth management with RBC Wealth Management, talked about the need to plan ahead for the possibility of dementia and the type of plans to put in place.

According to O’Leary, the plan should include having key legal documents – a power of attorney, healthcare directive, and will – in place as well as having assets properly titled and beneficiary designations current. Consider too, she said, the benefits of a trust and professional executor services, as well as supplemental insurance, including long-term care options.

O’Leary also noted the need to understand early warning signs and, after a diagnosis, acting swiftly to protect the family from financial missteps, abuse and liability.

Having a plan is essential, and key legal documents—a power of attorney, healthcare directive, and will—should be in place.

Source: The Financial Impact of Dementia – TheStreet

If you are struggling through the financial transitions of aging, Wealth and Honor is here to provide you with resources to help you and your family through it.