Helping Families Navigate the Financial Challenges of Age Transitions

Tag: elder law

Why Banks Might Refuse a POA

I hold a valid power of attorney for my mother, but when I tried to use it at her bank, the bank refused to recognize it. Why would the bank refuse to honor a valid legal document?

As a holder of a power of attorney (POA) for a loved one, it can be incredibly frustrating when a bank refuses to recognize this legal document. You may believe that you have the authority to act on your mother’s behalf, but banks sometimes take a cautious approach when it comes to powers of attorney. Let’s explore some common reasons banks might refuse to honor a valid POA and what you can do if you find yourself in this situation.

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Broaching Financial Power of Attorney: A Sensitive Conversation

My elderly father is resistant to the idea of relinquishing control over his finances, but he's starting to show signs of cognitive decline. How can I delicately broach the subject of financial power of attorney without causing conflict?

First and foremost, know that you’re not alone in facing this challenge. Many families encounter similar hurdles as their loved ones age, and it’s perfectly natural to feel apprehensive about initiating such conversations. It can feel like tip-toeing through a minefield of emotions, especially when broaching the subject of financial power of attorney. 

Approaching the topic with sensitivity and empathy is key. Start by creating a safe space for open dialogue, perhaps over a cup of coffee, during a walk, or other quiet moment together. Express your concerns from a place of love and genuine care for your father’s well-being without sounding patronizing.  I would also avoid using any of the phrases below as they can sound manipulative, demeaning, or patronizing.

How NOT to start the conversation
  • “Dad,  now that you have dementia, don’t you think you need help managing your affairs…”
  • “You know, it’s only a matter of time when you’re going to slip up and make a big mistake…”
  • “I’m only doing this for you…”
  • “You know, Mom would want you to do this…”
Good conversation starters

In my Financial Caregiver Academy Course, I dedicate two lessons to Working as a Family. In Part One, I outline Seven Conversation Starters that may help begin the conversation. However, it may not always be you or a sibling that is best for broaching the topic. Sometimes a trusted friend, spouse, or outside advisor can open the door to the conversation easier than the adult child. 

When discussing the idea of financial power of attorney, emphasize the importance of  maintaining his autonomy.  Assure him that this step is not about taking away his independence but rather about ensuring his wishes are honored and his best interests are protected.

One thing you could mention is the use of a Springing Power of Attorney – that is only upon the occurrence of a predefined event will the power “spring” into being.  Usually the event is when two physicians known to the individual attest that he is no longer capable of managing his affairs. Until then, your dad would retain full control over his affairs.   

It’s crucial to listen attentively to your father’s concerns and reservations without dismissing them. Acknowledge his fears and uncertainties, and validate his emotions. Reassure him that you’re there to support him every step of the way and that decisions will be made collaboratively, with his input and wishes guiding the process.

Depending on your father’s level of understanding and engagement, you may find it helpful to provide educational resources or involve a trusted third party, such as a financial planner or elder law attorney, in the discussion. These professionals can offer expert guidance tailored to your family’s unique circumstances and help navigate the legal and logistical aspects of establishing a financial power of attorney.

Remember, these conversations may not always unfold smoothly, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Be patient with yourself and your father as you navigate this journey together. By approaching the topic with empathy, respect, and a commitment to collaborative decision-making, you can help ensure that your father’s financial affairs are managed responsibly while preserving his dignity and autonomy.

Constructive Trusts – When Trust is Broken

Elder financial abuse is a distressing issue that affects vulnerable seniors, often leading to significant financial losses. In the realm of legal remedies, one powerful tool used to address such cases is the constructive trust. But what exactly is a constructive trust, and how does it work?

At its core, a constructive trust is a legal remedy aimed at correcting unjust enrichment and ensuring that property or assets are returned to their rightful owner. Unlike a traditional trust created by a formal legal agreement, a constructive trust arises by operation of law. It’s a flexible and equitable concept that courts employ when they find that someone has obtained property, assets, or benefits in an unfair or wrongful manner.

Constructive trusts are not exclusive to elder financial abuse cases; they can be applied in various situations where one party has benefited at the expense of another without a proper legal basis. For purposes of our discussion however, we’ll focus on their use in elder financial abuse situations.

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