Helping Families Navigate the Financial Challenges of Age Transitions

Tag: trustee

My Step-Brother is Trustee of My Trust – and I hate it!

I am a beneficiary of a trust created for me, my older sister, and my step-brother, "Sam" - the only son of my mother's late husband, Max. When Max died, there was a trust set up for Mom, and when Mom died, the trust continued for the benefit of the three of us. My step-brother "Sam" is the trustee and I hate it. It seems whenever I ask for something out of the trust, Sam goes out of his way to make my life difficult. I have to justify every request with a complete run down of my financial situation, including my bank account balance, what I owe on my car, even my credit card balance. It's embarrassing to have to undress financially in front of my step-brother every time I need something. Is there anything I can do to remove him or am I stuck in this arrangement?

When it comes to family trusts, emotions can run high alongside financial considerations, especially in situations like this. Being a beneficiary of a trust is meant to provide financial support and security, but when the dynamics become strained—particularly with a family member serving as the trustee—things can become complicated.

Let’s explore the roles and responsibilities of a trustee, the challenges that can arise in family trusts, and potential steps you can take if the relationship with your trustee becomes problematic. It’s important to approach this topic with diplomacy, as family dynamics can be delicate and complex. Most lawyers will tell you that the courtroom should be the arbitor of last resort.

The Trustee's Role

To start, let’s clarify the primary responsibilities of a trustee. Trustees are individuals or institutions designated to administer the trust according to its terms and in the best interests of the beneficiaries. This includes managing trust assets, distributing funds as outlined in the trust agreement, and maintaining accurate records.

In your case, Sam, your step-brother, is serving as that trustee. Ideally, a trustee should act with transparency, fairness, and respect towards all beneficiaries. Unfortunately, family dynamics can complicate this role, and emotions may cloud judgment or lead to perceived unfairness. 

For example, the trust may require the trustee to determine whether a requested distribution to a beneficiary meets the support standards it establishes. This investigation when a family member is trustee can seem more invasive than if the trustee was a detached person or entity.

Understanding Your Position as a Beneficiary

As a beneficiary, you have rights to the trust assets as specified within the trust agreement. This generally means you are entitled to request distributions. However, it’s not uncommon for trustees to seek some financial context behind these requests, which can sometimes feel intrusive. While it may be reasonable for Sam to ask for some information to ensure that distributions align with the trust’s intent, it’s essential to find a balance that respects your privacy.

It’s important to communicate openly with Sam about how his requests make you feel. He may not realize the discomfort it causes you, and honest dialogue can sometimes alleviate such tensions.

Challenges of Family Dynamics

Family members often find themselves in roles that blur personal and professional lines, especially when money is involved. Your relationship with Sam as both a step-brother and trustee can make this situation even more delicate. Trust issues can arise not because of malice but due to misunderstandings, differing expectations, or even emotional responses stemming from loss.

When confronting challenges with a trustee, it can be beneficial to remind yourself that these situations are not uncommon. Many beneficiaries may experience frustrations around trust distributions, and seeking resolutions while maintaining family harmony can be particularly tricky.

If you feel that Sam’s actions are unreasonable or overly burdensome, consider these steps:

  1. Communicate Openly: Start with an open conversation. Share your feelings about the financial disclosures required for distributions. This can be a delicate conversation, but framing it in a way that emphasizes your discomfort can lead to a more constructive dialogue.

  2. Request Clarity on Trust Terms: Look into the terms of the trust. If it provides specific guidelines on distribution requests and the trustee’s responsibilities, it can help clarify what is fair and expected. While you may not have legal clarity, understanding these terms will bolster your position for further discussions.

  3. Seek Mediation: Sometimes, having a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator, can help facilitate discussions. This person can serve as a mediator in contentious situations and help keep conversations constructive.

  4. Explore Legal Options: If discussions do not yield a satisfactory outcome, you may want to consult with a legal professional specializing in trusts. They can provide you with guidance on your rights as a beneficiary, the potential for removing a trustee, and the processes involved. It’s important to seek an informative consultation without assuming it leads to litigation.

  5. Document Everything: Keep records of your communications and requests. If things escalate or legal intervention becomes necessary, having a clear history can be invaluable. This documentation may also help if you need to present your case to a legal professional.

  6. Consider the Long-term Relationship: Before taking action that may significantly impact your relationship with Sam, carefully weigh the repercussions. Family ties are invaluable, and often taking a step back to assess the situation can promote healthier long-term dynamics.

Keeping the main thing the main thing

Navigating trust relationships, especially within families, can be fraught with complexities. It’s crucial to approach these situations with a blend of empathy, understanding, and assertiveness. As a beneficiary, remember that you have rights, but strive for a path that honors both those rights and your family relationships.

While you may feel constrained by your circumstances, open communication and informed actions can pave a way forward. You’re not alone in facing these difficulties; many beneficiaries encounter similar challenges. By seeking understanding and resolution, you can work toward a balanced outcome that honors both your needs and the trust’s intentions. Remember, seeking knowledge and support is a powerful step in ensuring that family and trust matters are handled with care.

Siblings concerned about Step-Mother’s Use of Trust Fund

My dad passed away about seven years ago and left a sizeable trust to his wife. The trust is supposed to take care of her for her life before passing to me and my three siblings when she dies. That's all we know about it. We think she is the trustee, but we've never asked because we want to avoid drama. We know she has other assets that she brought into the marriage so we hope she's not draining the trust at our expense. How do we go about finding out the details of this trust, such as how much is in it, what it's being used for, and who is in control of it?

This is a tough but very common family situation, caused in part, by a lack of communication about your dad’s plan while he was living. When your dad passed away and left a trust for your stepmother, it undoubtedly added layers to an already emotional situation. Now, faced with uncertainty about the trust’s details and anxious about its potential impact on your inheritance, you’re understandably concerned.

Finding out about the specifics of a family trust, especially when feelings run high, requires a gentle and thoughtful approach. Here’s some ways you can seek the information you need while preserving family harmony.

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How to Divide Sentimental Items in an Estate

My mom recently passed away and I am the executor of her will. The will is fairly simple with everything divided equally between me and my four siblings. The problem is that there are a lot of heirloom items, including art, jewelry, furnishings, and several sentimental items that I know several of us have an interest in. Some are worth quite a bit, but most of it holds only sentimental value. Since I am responsible for dividing these items equally, how can I fairly and objectively do this without it looking like I'm favoring myself?

First of all, I’d like to extend my heartfelt condolences for the loss of your mother. Navigating the complexities of grief while handling the responsibilities of being an executor can be an incredibly challenging task. It’s commendable that you’re seeking a fair and objective way to manage your mother’s legacy while honoring her memory and considering your siblings’ feelings.

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Too much trustee discretion prevents elderly beneficiary from Medicaid eligibility.

A New York Appeals court recently affirmed the State’s Medicaid division’s decision to deny Medicaid eligibility to the beneficiary of a trust, arguing that the trust gave the trustee too much discretionary authority. The case underscores the need to have an experienced attorney familiar with local Medicaid rules, draft trust documents where protecting Medicaid eligibility is a major concern.

In this instance, the applicant’s son was trustee of a living trust established for the benefit of the applicant. As trustee, the son took out a home equity loan using trust assets as collateral, and used the loan proceeds to pay for his father’s living and caregiving expenses. Once the trust assets were depleted, the father applied for Medicaid benefits but was denied because the State ruled that the trust assets were available to the applicant, and imposed the required “look-back rule” in denying eligibility.

In upholding the State’s determination, the Appeals Court stated:

Because the trust instrument gave the trustees broad discretion in the distribution of the trust principal, including for petitioner’s benefit, the agency did not err in concluding that the principal is an available resource for purposes of petitioner’s Medicaid eligibility determination

For the full text of the ruling, click here.

I’m Trustee For My Parents’ Trust – Now What?

So, your parents have a trust, and you’ve just found out that you are the trustee. Do you thank them or did they reward you with the booby prize? A trustee is held to a high standard of accountability and must act in accordance with an established standard of care as outlined below. To fail in one or more of these – called a breach of fiduciary duty – is to invite litigation and sometimes results in broken family relationships where a family member is also the trustee. Professional trustees, like banks with trust departments, or corporate trustees will be given very little leeway if they fail in any of these duties, but untrained family members or individuals who find themselves in this unenviable position are often not excused for lack of knowledge either.

frustrated man
  1. Duty of loyalty. A trustee has a fundamental duty to administer a trust solely in the interests of the beneficiaries. A trustee must not engage in acts of self‐dealing.
  2. Duty of administration. The trustee must administer the trust in accordance with its terms, purposes, and the interests of the beneficiaries. A trustee must act prudently in the administration of a trust and exercise reasonable care, skill, and caution, as well as properly account for receipts and disbursements between principal and income.
  3. Duty to control and protect trust property. The trustee must take reasonable steps to take control of and protect the trust property.
  4. Duty to keep property separate and maintain adequate records. A trustee must keep trust property separate from the trustee’s property and keep and render clear and accurate records with respect to the administration of the trust.
  5. Duty of impartiality. If a trust has two or more beneficiaries, the trustee must act impartially in investing, managing, and distributing the trust property, giving due regard to the beneficiaries’ respective interests.
  6. Duty to enforce and defend claims. A trustee must take reasonable steps to enforce claims of the trust and to defend claims against the trust.
  7. Duly to inform and report. A trustee must keep qualified trust beneficiaries reasonably informed about the administration of the trust and of the material facts necessary for them to protect their interests.
  8. Duty of prudent investment. A trustee who invests and manages trust property has a duty to “invest and manage trust property as a prudent investor would, by considering the purposes, terms, distribution requirements, and other circumstances of the trust.

Much like the position of Executor, the role of Trustee is not to be accepted lightly and can often be a lifetime of responsibility. If you are not comfortable serving in this capacity, discuss this with your parents now so that alternate plans can be made.

Trusts are excellent vehicles for protecting an estate from creditors, transfer taxes, or misbehaving heirs. Their operation may be simple or complex, but it is incumbent upon you to talk to your parents about their trusts, and especially who the parties are if you are in the role of financial caregiver.


Source: American Bankers’ Association.

Brady Bunch Estate Planning: Balancing the Duty of Loyalty

It is a well established principle of trust law that trustees are fiduciaries who owe specific duties to the beneficiaries of a trust. These duties can be grouped into duties of loyalty and duties of care.

But what if a trust has beneficiaries with adverse interests to one another? It is not uncommon for a trust to have two kinds of beneficiaries – a current beneficiary as well as a remainder beneficiary. That is, the current beneficiary may have rights to the income from the trust, and perhaps even discretionary rights to the trust’s assets (also known as the trust principal or corpus); whereas the remainder beneficiary may have rights or equitable interest in what is left in the trust (the remainder) after a period of years or upon the death of the current beneficiary. These adverse interests can test the mettle of most individual or family trustees as both beneficiaries are owed duties of loyalty and care.

The Brady Bunch

Suppose Mike Brady created a trust to take effect at his death. His trust includes the following (summarized) instructions:

  1. At my death, my trustee shall pay to my surviving spouse the net income from my trust for as long as my spouse shall live.
  2. In addition to the net income, my trustee may also pay to my surviving spouse from the trust’s principal, as much as my trustee shall deem necessary to maintain my spouse in [her] accustomed standard of living.
  3. Upon my spouse’s death, my trustee shall distribute my trust to my surviving children (Greg Brady, Peter Brady, and Bobby Brady) in equal shares.

Now supposed that when Mike Brady dies, Carol Brady is appointed to serve as trustee of Mike’s trust. Or, perhaps Mike’s oldest son, Greg, is appointed as trustee. This is not only permitted but done frequently, presumably to avoid paying a professional trustee. The conflicts to the Duty of Loyalty are obvious.

For example, if Carol Brady is trustee, it stands to reason that she would want to maximize current income from the trust while minimizing principal growth. Likewise, if Greg is trustee, he would want to maximize his ultimate share of the trust by investing for growth rather than income. In addition, asking either party to objectively define “accustomed standard of living” puts them both in awkward, if not conflicting positions. Should Alice’s services as a live-in housekeeper continue to be paid after everyone has moved on? Carol could certainly argue that the expense met the accustomed standard of living test, but would Greg require Carol to pay for it herself, or would he deny it saying it wasn’t necessary any longer?

Perhaps when Mike and Carol were in the attorney’s office, their response to these hypothetical situations was typical. “Oh our kids would never argue over this.”

It is possible to be loyal to both beneficiaries even if there are adverse interests. However, doing so requires a great deal of objectivity, scrutiny, and immunity to emotional persuasion. A wise trustee will establish clear expectations and open communication early in the relationship to avoid favoring one beneficiary over the other and risk breaching the duty of loyalty.

Another Case of Sibling Rivalry

An Indiana Court of Appeals opinion underscores the importance of accountings in trust administration, but also raises questions about why families place siblings in adversarial positions to begin with.

According to an article posted by the Indianapolis law firm of Faebre Baker Daniels,  the original case involved three siblings, Scott, Jeff and Stacey – and arose after Scott and Jeff began to question some of Stacey’s actions as trustee of their respective trusts – specifically, her handling of the trusts’ joint ownership of multiple parcels of real property. Shortly after the siblings executed a mediated settlement agreement and partitioned the properties, Scott sued Stacey, as trustee of his trust, alleging she failed to provide an accounting and had misused trust assets. Scott also alleged misappropriation of $107,000 of trust assets, which were characterized as trust expenses – which were in fact legal fees Stacey had incurred “years before the most recent trust-related litigation,” apparently with other family members.

One of the duties of a trustee (known as fiduciary duties) is to keep trust property separate and to maintain – and make available to trust beneficiaries – adequate records, which Stacey admitted she had failed to do. Unfortunately for Scott, he did not bring his complaint until after the two-year statute of limitations had expired, and the trial court found Stacey did not commit a breach of trust as to the accountings.

Scott also demanded reimbursement for his attorney’s fees for bringing the complaint against Stacey, which after being denied by the trial court was reversed by the Indiana Court of Appeals and Stacey was ordered to pay Scott’s legal fees.

While the crux of the case deals with a trustee’s responsibility to maintain adequate records and provide them to a trust’s beneficiaries, the real story in this case is the human one – that of a family of siblings now divided – at least partly – because one was put into an adversarial position with the others. I wonder if the trustee fee savings was worth it?

Source: Indiana Court of Appeals Opinion Upholds the Importance of Accountings in Trust Administration | Publications | Insights | Faegre Baker Daniels

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